Not so long ago, I decided to challenge myself and write a 500-word essay daily for at least two weeks to develop a new habit. At the time, even with pressure from my job and my then-upcoming examination, I was able to write for five straight five days until… I failed! I stopped. Weariness and stress took over and I suddenly could not make time to write. I focused more on m examination and my job and I was always tired to even think of anything to write.
The first day I was going to miss the challenge, I told my friend about it. He said I should write again the day after and I said yes! However, two weeks had past but it’s only now that I had the energy to write again. I did think of doing it since last week. My exam was over, I passed, and I was able to comply with a work requirement. I should have been able to write something. I was just lazy. I procrastinated and told myself I am only resting. I deserved it! I worked so hard in the last few weeks, so I deserved a break!
Focus is something that I need to work on. I always think of the things I should do to improve my quality of life and to have the time to do what I want and still be able to provide for myself. I end up not doing those things I planned and if I did, it would take a long time before I do so. I do not feel proud of this. I think I managed my time better last year. Right now, I can only keep on planning to do things I want to do until I get to do so. Hey, at least the intention is there, right?
And because I truly have the intention to write again and daily if possible, I brought my laptop with me almost every day. Right now I am in a coffee shop and after five hours of lounging here, social media browsing and watching a few episodes of a Chinese historical drama, I finally turned this computer on and thought of criticizing myself while giving the reasons why I could not compel myself into doing this challenge during the last two weeks. It’s not an awful topic to start writing again. Discussing my own bad attitude makes me think about my plans that stayed as plans and new hope to make myself better. And if I could do it soon, that would be great!
I probably wrote about starting over again in one of my posts here. Now, I am still writing about it AGAIN! I would probably have other posts of this sort as long as I procrastinate or if I find a reason not to write for a day. I’ll keep on starting. Over. Again. It is something I really want to do and improving oneself is always worth it, at least my own self.
While I am writing this and just going over 500-word count, I remember about my hike to Yangmingshan mountain in Taipei on a foggy day with my friends. We tired ourselves out without being able to see the beauty of all the scenes the locals boast about. And the point if sharing this is that my friend asked if we would like to hike the mountain one more time. That’s a good question. I do want to see the beauty the fog kept me from admiring. However, is it worth the pain? As much as I want to see the whole place, at the moment, I definitely do not intend to do it again.
For now, I’ll admire some pictures from that hike including the featured image of calla lilies for this post.